Release
by J.D. Cunegan
Summary: Post-Veritas one-shot. I know a lot of fics have been written about Kate having an emotional breakdown after arresting Bracken, but after watching the episode for the first time, I had to write one of my own. Click onward for angsty, Caskett-y goodness.


Whirlwind didn't quite do the day justice.

There was arresting Senator Bracken – in front of a hoard of television cameras and reporters, no less. They had all sorts of questions that begged to be answered, questions she wanted desperately to answer in that moment, but with the man who ordered the hit on her mother in cuffs, Kate Beckett just wanted him tossed into the back of a squad car and led away.

Then there was the flight back to New York. It was a short flight, but Ryan and Esposito slept the whole way. Castle had buried himself in the Sky Mall magazine, but she could tell it was just to distract himself. She could see the emotion in his eyes, but the middle of a crowded plane was no place to show it.

Kate had tried to sleep, but the pounding in her head wouldn't let her.

The headache was at its worst when the plane landed at JFK. She was pretty sure she had a concussion – how could she not after taking a heavy liquor bottle to the back of the head the other day? Kate managed to hold off until they got to baggage claim, making sure Castle's back was to her before rubbing her temples and squeezing her eyes shut.

The drive from the airport to Jim's office was quiet. Castle could feel the tension, knew the conversation she was about to have with her father would be a tough one. He'd waited in the reception area, deciding it was best to give the Becketts their space as Kate told him all about Bracken's conspiracy.

Kate gave him a sad smile when she emerged from her father's office, leaning against her fiancé when he put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. She had asked him to take her straight to the loft, so she could take something for her head and get some much-needed sleep. The past couple days were finally starting to catch up with her, and she couldn't stop yawning.

Again, the drive had been quiet. She immediately took a seat on the sofa once they reached Castle's loft, running her fingers through her hair and barely hearing her fiancé when he noticed a note on the fridge from Martha and Alexis saying they were out.

She felt the cushion sink beside her as Castle sat, and she looked up at him, momentarily letting herself get lost in his blue eyes. She gave her a brief smile and their fingers interlocked. She glanced down at the joined hands, the grin on her face disappearing. She felt him squeeze her hand, her fingers starting to shake.

Her eyes started to burn, flicking up to meet his again. Understanding washed over his face, and she opened her mouth to speak…but no words came. Instead, her lower lip quivered, and she shook her head.

"Castle…"

Her entire body was shaking now. A wave of something washed over her. Was it guilt? Longing? Remorse? She opened her mouth again, ready to say her lover's name one more time, but as soon as she did, a sob escaped from her throat and her shoulders hunched. Kate let go of Castle's hand, burying her face in her hands, muffling her pained scream against her palms as the tears finally started to fall.

"Hey…" Castle scooted closer to her, wrapping his broad arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him, sniffling and sucking in a deep, ragged breath before shaking her head and turning to face him.

Castle brushed away a tear, swallowing and pulling her closer against him. Beckett, her sight marred with the tears spilling down her cheeks, fought the urge to push away, and instead burrowed herself deeper against him, letting herself nestle against his chest, feeling the dull thud of his heartbeat against her shaky hand.

She had been so strong throughout this ordeal, amazingly stoic in the face of so much personal turmoil. Not just the murder of her mother, but staring face-to-face with the man who had tortured her, listening to the man responsible for bringing her to Homicide making deals with Bracken, being on the run, not knowing who to trust or where to turn…

It was all too much for an ordinary person to handle, but Kate – extraordinary as she apparently was – somehow managed to do it. She'd even managed to hold it together when she slapped the cuffs on Bracken, though she told herself that was because of the cameras. If they had been alone for the arrest, there was no telling what would've happened.

From there, she had been on auto-pilot. Doing what needed to be done. Step by step. But now…

"Castle…" She whimpered against his chest, tugging on his shirt. If anything, the sobs had grown louder, and she knew her tears were staining what was probably one of his more expensive shirts. She loved this shirt, the way it brought out his eyes, and part of her hated defiling it with her mess.

But he squeezed her tighter against him, seemingly oblivious to the stains. Castle kissed the top of her head – she would never grow tired of that display of affection – his hands lovingly stroking her back, even as it shuddered and hunched every time she sobbed.

"Castle…"

"Shh…" He started rocking her gently, brushing strands of hair out of her face before cupping her cheek and slowly lifting her face to meet his gaze. Her eyes were red, tears still trickling down her cheeks. He caught one with his thumb, brushing it aside and kissing her still-quivering lips.

"You did it, Kate." His voice was a whisper, and the words came out slowly. Through her tears, she could see how lost he was. It was in his eyes. He'd never seen her like this before; sure, he'd seen her cry, but…a true breakdown? The release of everything she'd pent up since that fateful night in 1999?

She sniffled, another wave of tears overwhelming her. She tugged at his shirt again, her mouth agape. His hands went to her shoulders, keeping her as steady as he could as the emotion continued to overwhelm her. How long had she kept all of this bottled up?

"Kate." He kissed the top of her head again, and she looked up at him. The tears were slowly starting to dissipate, though every so often, another one fell down her cheek. His thumb tried to catch them all. "Kate…it's over."

She nodded and sniffled. "And she's still gone."

He frowned at that, but he understood. She knew he did; he'd been around her too long, worked with her on this case too long, to know that she understood solving the case wouldn't really change anything. Sure, it gave Jim and Kate closure, and it brought justice where it was sorely needed – for which Johanna would've been proud – but it did little to change the fact that a man needlessly lost his wife and a young girl, barely a woman, had lost her mother.

"Not completely." He squeezed her shoulders. "She's in that ring around your neck." He brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "She's with you every time you go to a crime scene. She's smiling at you every time you make an arrest."

Kate pressed her forehead against Castle's, still shivering and letting out the last few tears. She places a shaky hand on his chest, and he returns the favor, his fingers once again paying homage to the scar. She suppresses a smile, her fingers tracing along the collar of his shirt.

"You did it." He repeated. "And I meant what I said in D.C. She's proud of you." Castle kissed her softly, staring into her eyes. "And so am I."

She smiled – her first true smile since they returned from D.C. – kissing him and trailing her fingers along his jawline. "And I meant what I said." She swallowed. "About not being able to do this without you."

"You would've found a way."

"No." She swallowed again, shaking her head and taking his hands into hers. "Without you, I…" She looked down, squeezing her eyes shut. Kate felt like she was out of tears, but the sensation to cry was still there. "Without you, I would've buried myself so far down the rabbit hole, I never would've made it out."

Castle cupped her cheek in his hand again, and this time, he was the one with tears in his eyes. She leaned in to kiss him again, her lips lingering against his, and she could feel a tear roll down his cheek and onto her finger.

She couldn't remember the last time he had cried in front of her – maybe when Alexis was kidnapped – but even then, it was just a few tears. If he'd had the sort of breakdown she just did, he'd done so in private. Her heart hurt at the thought, and she cradled his face in both hands.

"Hey." She brushed another tear off his cheek. "What's wrong?"

"It…" Castle shook his head. Why were words so hard to come by when they really mattered? "It just hit me that…that I'm not gonna have a mother-in-law."

Kate kissed him again, at a loss for words herself, her fingers tangling in his hair as his arms wrapped around her waist. They sat wrapped up in each other for what felt like forever – and yet, hardly any time at all. She rested her head on his shoulder and he stroked his hair, both of them sniffling and brushing away the occasional tear.

She smiled. "I think Martha is enough mother for both of us."

He looked down at her and smiled. "Well, if you think about it…" He squeezed her shoulder. "Martha and Alexis are your family now, too. Have been for a while." He kissed the top of her head again – _god, she will never get over that._ "I know you helped convince Alexis to come home."

She looked up with a confused glare. He just smiled in return.

"I knew you were worried that you were the reason she wasn't coming home, so I figured when you didn't tell me what was up, that you'd gone to see her."

Kate frowned. "She told you, didn't she?"

Castle squeezed Kate's shoulder again and smirked. "Detective Beckett, are you questioning my detecting skills?"

She huffed a small laugh, swiping her thumb under her eyes again. She looked up at Castle before reaching up to trail a finger along his jawline again. He looked at her, and when she saw the love in his eyes, she felt the sting of tears threatening to return.

"Rick…" She swallowed. "Can you do me a favor?"

He cocked his head to the side, sitting up and taking her hand into his. "Name it."

"I'm going to the cemetery tomorrow." She looked down at their joined hands, staring at the ring on her finger. "Would you…would you come with me?"

He smiled and gave Kate's hand a squeeze. "I'd be honored, Kate."


End file.
